I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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