i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
