And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
