i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
