3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
