Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
