walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
