It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
