im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize