No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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