i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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