cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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