Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
