He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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