remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
