why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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