so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
