Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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