Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
