Who did Billy Mays play for?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
