Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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