a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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