You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
