At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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