Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
