using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
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