his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
