Hey man sorry I got all grabby
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
