the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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