Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
