What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
