What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
