You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
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Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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