I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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