and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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