This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
nutella sex= disaster
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize