Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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