Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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