Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
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why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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