Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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