it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
