Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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