wanna go halves on a baby?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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