its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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