I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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