Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
