that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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