You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
im on a boat
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