you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
