why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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