It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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