So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
