Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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