I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
