Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
