if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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