Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
now i know why i became what i already was.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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