it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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