And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found puke in my bra..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
