come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
